Tuesday, 17 January 2017

BREAKING NEWS!! Naira May Fall To N1,000 Per Dollar – CBN Governor Speaks

Regarding the constant depreciation of
Naira, a report was published on
Nigerian Camera, bearing an interesting
statement by Mr. Godwin Emefiele, the
Governor of the Central Bank of
Nigeria, (CBN), and his prediction of a
continuous fall in Naira.
Mr Godwin, who has served as Chief
Executive officer and Group Managing
Director of Zenith Bank Plc and also
Deputy Managing Director of same
company, gave a lengthy breakdown of
why he thinks Naira may fall to N1000 per
dollar in the nearest future.

“It is either I do not understand economics
and how exchange rates work or a vast
majority of us Nigerians still don’t get how
we have wrecked our country with our own
curious choices. Just this morning, I was
listening to the radio and the lady on air
went on and on about how she thought
CBN governor, Godwin Emefiele was
incompetent and should be sacked because
the Naira was now exchanging at 309 or so
to the USD.

“That view pretty much echoes the
sentiments expressed by many people I
know and it amazes me that there are
Nigerians who actually think there is some
magic POLICY that can make the Naira
strong in the near term. If my economics
and my understanding of the way the world
works are right, then that is as far from the
truth as Jesus Christ is black.

“The simple fact of the matter is that apart
from oil that accounts for over 90% of our
revenues, we really don’t have much of an
economy. We hardly produce anything, we
import even toothpicks, so exactly what
policy is going to be implemented that will
turn Nigeria into a top exporting economy
in the near term? Where are our Apples,
IBMs, Disneys, GMs, General Electrics,
Coca Colas, Empire State buildings, Statues
of Liberties, Lockheeds, Citibanks, JP
Morgans, ExxonMobils, NBAs, Super
Bowls etc? Let me bring that closer home.

“There was a time long ago when Nigeria
had a truly strong economy and the naira
was one to the dollar – even exchanged for
higher than the USD, but that Nigeria is not
this Nigeria. Sadly that Nigeria was laid by
the British, and this Nigeria (if you don’t
believe in the nonsensical imperialist
conspiracies like me) – fueled by the
DAMAGING Indigenization Decree, has
been the creation of us Nigerians. Back
then we had a booming economy.
We were either the top, or among the top
exporters, of timbre, cocoa, groundnuts,
rubber, palm oil, etc, in the world.
Nigerians not only holidayed at home in
their villages, at Yankari Games Reserve, at
Obudu Cattle Ranch, at Oguta Lake, at
Ikogosi springs, at Gurara Falls, at
Mambilla Platueau, etc, we attracted
international tourists who brought in loads
of foreign exchange. Even Nigerian schools
were foreign exchange earners because they
attracted foreign students.

“We had different car assembly plants –
Peugeot, Volkswagen, Anamco etc.
Nigerian government officials only bought
vehicles assembled in Nigeria for official
cars. We had a thriving sports industry. We
were not Man United or Chelsea fans, we
were Rangers or IICC fans. We had the
Nduka Odizors, people made money from
sports. We also had companies like
Lennards and Bata producing school shoes
in their thousands, we had the thriving
Nigerian Airways and the Aviation School
in the north that produced some of the best
pilots in the world.
In those days if you were brilliant you were
respected much more than the crass money-
miss-road contractors of today. Most of the
Aje Butters I knew had fathers who were
university dons. Back then it meant
something to ‘know book’. Our textile
industry was alive and well. Just recently I
watched a news report on the textile
industry in Nigeria on CCTV News.
Though the main focus was on the
comatose status of the industry, I was
stunned by the gigantic Kaduna Textile
Mill built in 1957. I could go on and on.

“Today however, no thanks to our parents
(and we must call them out the way Wole
Soyinka did his generation) and many of us
(and we should be remembered for failing
our children if we continue like this), we
have destroyed everything. Today for
instance Nigerian football (which comes
easy to me obviously) doesn’t appeal to us,
we have to fly across thousands of miles to
watch ‘our’ clubs play. Every year we
collectively burn billions of Naira being
fans of clubs that give us nothing back, but
some ‘entertainment value’ – simple
pleasures for which we are ready to destroy
the future of our children.

“Well people, payback time is here. Even
with our ta-she-re money we all want to
wear designer clothes and carry designer
bags, Armani, Givenchy, Louis Vuitton etc.
We all want to drive jeeps with American
specs, our children must now school
overseas and acquire the necessary accents
to come back home and bamboozle their
‘bush and crass’ contemporaries that they
left behind. Who holidays in Nigeria
anymore, is there Disneyland here? No one
buys made-in-Nigeria school bags for their
children, after all no Superman or
Incredible Hulk or Cinderella on them.

“We are no longer top exporters of
anything and the demise of oil means we
have zilch… zero. A country of 170M
fashion-conscious people has no textile
industry. We take delight in showing how
our made-in-Switzerland Aso Ebi is
different class to everyone else’s. When we
help our musicians grow and pay them
millions, they repay us by immediately
shipping the monies overseas to produce
their “i-don-dey-different-level” music
videos. It makes no difference that
distinctly Zulu dancers are dancing to a
Nigerian highlife song.

“As stars concerned they also wed and
holiday overseas to impress us all. All the
musicians who acknowledge their Ajegunle
roots now speak in a cocktail of strange
accents to symbolise how much they have
blown their monies overseas. Were we a
more serious people, the highly popular
Kingsway Stores of the past would
probably have a thousand outlets pan
Nigeria today supporting a massive
agriculture industry among others, but
today we have the likes of SPAR, Shoprite,
dominating the retail industry while
Kingsway is dead.

“And we Nigerians make it a special point
to shop from the Oyinbos who have
‘cleaner shops’, ‘better this and better that’.
For our personal pleasure we don’t mind
them dominating us in our own backyard
and shipping proceeds overseas. I could go
on and on, but I don tire. Even as you are
reading this, stop for a moment and look
around you. What you see will probably
explain why we are lucky it is not N1000 to
the USD yet. And don’t think for a moment
that it cannot get there.

“Just continue to wear your Armani gear
and Swiss-made lace, continue to spend
your money on Man United, Arsenal,
Chelsea and Barca and encourage your
children to do same. (My article tomorrow
in my Saturday column in This Day is on
the Nigerian champions Enyimba FC –
Nigeria’s most successful club – not having
a sponsor, yet Nigerian brands pay over
N600m to Man United and Arsenal for
sponsorship to impress us.) Ehhh, no
problem, continue to tell me the NPFL is
rubbish or the clubs should clean up their
act if they want sponsorship, mo gbo .

“Don’t curtail your interest in choice wines
( we were the number one champagne
consumers in the world in 2015), continue
to love your American specs, cheer the
education ministry for letting schools sink
to pitiable levels, don’t fight them to
improve our schools, don’t chide them for
letting schools drop Nigerian history and
embrace British, America and whatever
else curricular.

“Carry on with your love of French wines
and Chinese silk, don’t bother about Jamiu
Alli when there is Roger Federer. Stock up
on your Italian, American, British products
which you cannot live without, including
the ‘baby soft’ toilet rolls produced only in
that small unique village in England – the
days are long gone since you were a broke
student who used wet newspapers to wipe
your butt.

“Don’t even consider holidaying in Nigeria,
it’s too dangerous – you have to fulfill your
dream of being Nigeria’s Henry Ford.
Don’t listen to people like me who have a
wardrobe full of only cheap adire that is
actually cheaper than just one of your Tom
Ford blazers. Please keep dressing in fine
silk made in some exotic place so you can
be addressed accordingly.

“Finally keep letting corrupt leaders who
have looted your commonwealth and
shipped all the monies overseas get away
because to attack them does not fit your
political narrative. Let us continue with the
fine life, let us all continue to work for
Oyinbo. But don’t forget that there is
payback time and Emefiele is not your
problem. Time for us all to look in the
mirror and take responsibility.

May God help us!!

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